Power and control
Domestic Violence
There’s no excuse for abuse; Everyone deserves to be safe.
20 people are physically abused by an intimate partner.
Is the cost of Domestic Violence over 1 victim's lifetime.
Of homeless women & children are fleeing Domestic Violence.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence or intimate partner violence is about one person getting and keeping power and control over another person in an intimate relationship. This happens after a pattern of behavior is established over a short or long period of time in which one intimate partner uses physical violence, coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation, and emotional, sexual, economic, or other forms of abuse to control and change the behavior of the other partner.
Domestic Violence Can Happen to Anyone
Domestic violence happens to people of all ages, races, ethnicities, socio-economic statuses, and religions. It occurs in both opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. A person’s gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation does not determine whether they can be a victim of domestic violence or an abuser. Economic or professional status does not affect whether someone can commit domestic violence or be the victim of domestic violence.
Not All Domestic Violence Looks the Same
Domestic violence can vary in how often it happens and how severe an incident can be. Abuse can range from one episode of violence that could have a lasting impact to chronic and severe episodes over several decades. Domestic violence is connected to other forms of violence and causes serious health issues and economic consequences for generations.
Why We Shouldn’t Ask the Question: Why Didn’t You Leave?
It’s incredibly difficult for anyone to leave an abusive relationship; studies show it can take up to 7 attempts for someone to leave an abuser. There are multiple reasons for this; for one thing, leaving the relationship is the most dangerous time, and can trigger the abuser’s desire for power and control in lethal ways. Other reasons can include financial considerations, wanting what’s best for the children, pressure from family or friends to stay, religious beliefs, and many others. Every individual’s situation is unique, and every individual experiencing abuse has their own reasons why they may choose to stay. It’s important to acknowledge that every individual knows their situation best, and has the right to make informed decisions about their safety and well-being.
Domestic Violence in the LGBTQIA+ Community
In addition to equal or even higher rates of domestic violence occurring in the LGBTQIA community compared to the cisgender and heterosexual community, LGBTQIA people face barriers to leaving abusive relationships that cisgender and heterosexual victims often do not. Domestic violence is most commonly thought of as something that happens to cis women and is committed by cis men. Therefore, most services are geared towards helping cisgender heterosexual women, which can make LGBTQIA victims feel isolated and misunderstood.
Abusive partners may use isolation to increase your dependence on them or limit your ability to access support. If you haven’t come out publicly yet or belong to a religious community, traditional family, or oppressive home environment, fear of what will happen when you reveal your identity might prevent you from seeking help. Abusive partners may try to exert power and control over your life by insulting you based on your insecurities, refusing to respect your pronouns or chosen name, attempting to shame you over how you choose to have sex or threatening to out you to others. Depending on your social circumstances, a small or tight-knit LGBTQIA community could make you feel increasingly isolated if you fear no one will support you because your abuser is well-liked.
Power and Control Wheel
These are some of the things that someone experiencing abuse might be going through:
Equity Wheel
These are behaviors shown in a healthy relationship:
Learn More
Additional Information on Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233
National Resource Center on Domestic Violence
National Network to End Domestic Violence
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
LGBTQIA+ Survivors
LA LGBT Center
Technology Safety & Privacy Resources
Technology Safety
For Indigenous Survivors
Strong Hearts Helpline
For Crime Victims
National Center for Victims of Crime
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